Most People Don't Want To Succeed

I once met a guy who had previously gotten to the top of two different highly competitive professions. I asked him for the secret of his success, which is probably a bad question in general, and he replied:

Most people don't want to succeed, they just want to say that they tried their best and there was nothing they could do.

My first reaction was genuine outrage: I thought the guy was a privileged prick, that he had no idea how truly insurmountable many people's circumstances are, and how lucky he was to have got to where he'd been.

My second reaction was to think about my own life and go:

oh.

I guess I do often give up at the first obstacle.

And:

oh.

I do secretly enjoy the relief of thinking well, I tried– I guess there was nothing I could do.

I still believe there are people who really can't do anything about their circumstances. And that it's fraught to apply this philosophy to anyone but yourself.

There is also a sense in which The Things You Can Do are strongly constrained by the range of things you're willing to do, and that e.g. sometimes you can become a famous artist or philosopher if you're willing to abandon your children, but many of us think that this does not actually justify the results.

But with all those caveats, I do suspect that many people would benefit from trying on for size the thought:

"I'm not truly trying to succeed at X right now, I'm content to say I tried and there was nothing I could do."

And then: "What would I do if I really wanted and needed to succeed at X?"

And then: trying that, and a couple other additional things too.